Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Standard Government Line

When the zombie plague does occur, you can bet the government will parrot the lines we are currently hearing about the H1N1 Swine Flu pandemic currently raging in Mexico. The political leaders will try to assuage the worry by saying things like:

"It's just a flu virus. We want to say to consumers here and abroad that there is no risk to you, there is no scientific evidence whatsoever that there is any link between [insert any consumer activity/foodstuff/product here] and the virus."

"Americans should know the government is doing whatever is necessary to contain the emerging health menace."

Legislators will try to defend their constiuencies by saying things like:

"Quit trying to blame it on [insert as appropriate: farmers/loggers/construction workers] and current production practices."

But, governments are by their nature liberty-destroying monsters. So, the appointed health and safety officers will say things like:

"There is a lot we don't yet know about this outbreak. But at the same time we have been preparing as if we are facing a true pandemic, even though we don't know the ultimate scope of what will occur."

However, they really want more infections within their own borders, which will give these unelected government bueaucrats more power, so they will give excuses as to whey they are not protecting the citizens' health aggressively. They will make excuses like:

"Closing the border now has not been merited by the facts. It would have very little marginal benefit in terms of containing the outbreak of virus within our own country."

"Scanning devices are not always accurate. They are not as precise as what we wish."

"You have travelers who are infected by do not evidence symtoms. So we can't really sift out travelers who are ill from those who are not based on looking for symptoms."

And the government and media synchophants will say things like:

"The Government is demonstrating a rapid, strong and reassuring response to this health crises."

Of course, a declaration of a Public Health Emergency doesn't make you safer, but it does give government more power.

When the government cogs start talking like they are talking now, you better start looking for moaning figures shambling down your street and across your lawn.

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